Tale #46: Panic at Dairy Queen

There is an adage spoken at theatrical rehearsals around the world: early is on-time, on-time is late.

When a director sets a rehearsal to start at 12pm, they intend for the work to begin at 12pm. Not 12:03, not 12:05, definitely not 12:15.

It takes people a minimum of three minutes to settle in once arriving at rehearsal, and that efficiency is rare. Most often it takes 5-10 minutes because people need to enter the building, use the restroom, fill their water bottles, set their bag down, put their performance shoes on, chit chat with fellow cast members, turn their phones off, find their script, etc.

Therefore, it is recommended that actors arrive 5-15 minutes early for a rehearsal so that when the rehearsal starts, they are on the stage, script in hand, ready to work.

Now, there are people who take the arrive early suggestion a little too literally and arrive 30-45 minutes early for rehearsal. Directors and Production staff members need their own time to settle in when arriving for a rehearsal. They typically arrive 30-45 minutes early so they can have a moment to breathe and get their ducks in a row before they have to be in go-mode. When cast members arrive too early, it disrupts a director’s preparation time and can throw them off their game or at the minimum, cause them to feel slightly annoyed.

Now, no shame if you have been an early arriver. As a teenager, I would often arrive super early because I wanted to be on the production staff. I figured, if I came often enough, they’d just absorb me into their ranks.

Can’t deny that it kind of worked.

So what is my point? I know, I’m very rambly today.

My point is this: arrive 10-15 minutes early so you are on time for rehearsal.

Do not get yourself stuck in the Dairy Queen drive through and make yourself 30 minutes late for rehearsal.

The show was Shrek the Musical and the year was 2015. Mama Terry was directing and I was the choreographer. We were still in the Pole-Shed rehearsal building at this time and it was a beautiful late May (maybe early June) day. We were doing a full run of the show so the entire cast was present.

Shrek the Musical starts with a little narration and then Little Shrek is spoken to by his parents and Little Fiona is spoken to by her’s. We were about to start our run when we realized the actor who played Fiona’s dad wasn’t there.

We had the Princess and the Queen, but no King.

Now, Fiona’s dad itself is not a super large role so it was easy enough for someone else to sing it for the purposes of running the show. However, the actor playing that role had numerous other roles in the show, so we were a little frustrated that he was late.

As rehearsal kept moving along, he still hadn’t arrived. If an actor still hasn’t arrived by the half-hour mark, you assume no-show.

Well…he finally arrived for rehearsal with fast food trash.

NOTE: If you are running late and you show up with fast foot, Starbucks, etc, it makes everyone annoyed with you. That’s just a rule of life.

Anyways, when we reached our first break of the night, he came up to us and looked completely mortified.

Here is what happened: he said he left with plenty of time to stop at the Dairy Queen in Verona to get a quick dinner before rehearsal.

Our Dairy Queen was fairly new at that point so they didn’t exactly have their management and operations running smoothly yet. Their drive through was the type where the lane has curbs on both sides so it’s distinguished from the rest of the parking lot.

He got in line, ordered his food, pulled ahead, and waited patiently behind the cars in front of him.

He waited….

and waited…

some more cars pulled in behind him…

he still waited…

an unreasonable amount of time to be waiting for Dairy Queen passed and he was still waiting.

Given the curbs on both sides of the drive through lane, he was stuck. He knew he was going to be late but he would have had to risk damaging his car in order to make it on time.

So he sat in his car and panicked.

He felt so horrible about the whole situation and apologized profusely for being late.

Mama Terry and I could not help but laugh. He got stuck at Dairy Queen, it’s pretty funny.

So in summation, early is on-time, on-time is late. If you didn’t include enough time for food, you’ll just have to wait.